


i find it bittersweet, 'cause you gave me something to lose

by moonythejedi394



Series: the same story; told different ways [7]
Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: ... - Freeform, Alpha Bucky Barnes, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Military, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Cliche, Fluff, Kid Fic, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Mpreg, Omega Steve Rogers, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Pre-World War II Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers, Prom, Sequel, Skype, Steve and Bucky being cute af, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Unplanned Pregnancy, a direct quote from lex: 'Very uncharacteristically fluffy', bc kid fics are my weak spot, but doesn't go into detail, dairy-free skim angst, fluffy fluff, have i written enough of these yet?, i'm rating this as M just to be safe bc that's the only thing mature, involving backless panties and butt plugs, no, one (1) pre smut scene, this is skim angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-04
Updated: 2018-12-04
Packaged: 2019-09-06 05:49:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16826407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonythejedi394/pseuds/moonythejedi394
Summary: "'Cause when you love someone | You open up your heart | When you love someone | You make room | If you love someone | And you're not afraid to lose 'em | You probably never loved someone like I do | You probably never loved someone like I do"Steve's life has been hard from the beginning. His father left when his ma was still pregnant. He's bound to turn out an Omega, which means he's got a life full of creeps wanting to try it with a male Omega and birth control that's not designed for boys but given to them anyway ahead of him. His mother works constantly to keep a roof over their heads and food on the table, the looming recession making everything more expensive than it needs to be. The only good thing is his best friend, who genuinely likes him, who might even love him, but even that gets taken away from him...But just because the Army took Bucky away, doesn't mean they have to give up. If they try, they can make it. Steve knows that high school romances are usually doomed, but something gives him a good feeling about this one. He knows he doesn't want to lose it.





	i find it bittersweet, 'cause you gave me something to lose

**Author's Note:**

> _mmkay so the second i finished **missing in action** i was thining "okay but what if steve DID believe bucky and what if steve DID tell bucky that he was pregnant what would happen???" and bc you know me, i'm incapable of not following a plotbunny, i did the thing. it's here. lexi, my ever glorious beta, has given it her stamp of approval. pls enjoy it._
> 
> me: *has 4 active wips, 4 back burner wips, 2 ideas, and 3 neglected wips*  
> also me: what if i wrote an alternate timeline of one of my pre-existing stories  
> me: _goes and does the fucking thing_  
>  my buddies from stuckyaubb slack: mood
> 
> me: i have a writing itch to scratch  
> me: y'know those videos of army guys surprising their familes/pets/etc? i'm doing a what if for missing in action  
> lexi: Oh no my GAY HEART

Steve is four days short of fifteen when he loses his virginity to his best friend. At three days short, he loses his best friend. When he’s fifteen and a day, he presents as an Omega and Bucky isn’t there to make it easier the way the two of them had plotted. So he hates the Army and he hates July.

Bucky leaves him with a promise ring and backs it by racking up the phone bill. For a while, Steve didn’t believe that either of them would keep the promise. Bucky is a little more than a year older than him, and Steve is wise for his age, he knows teenage love is rarely long-lasting.

After a year of phone calls, he dares to hope a little.

After two years, he dares to hope a lot.

After three, Steve realizes that he actually does believe Bucky. And it isn’t so hard to trust the promise. What happens is so cliche it leaves Steve almost embarrassed.

*

“I don’t want to go to prom,” Steve tells his mother.

“You’re going,” Ma says simply. “It’s Senior Prom, Steve.”

“Does it matter that I don’t _want_ to?” Steve asks through gritted teeth.

“No,” his Ma says. “We’re going to get you a suit on Sunday.”

“We can’t afford one,” Steve reminds her.

His ma turns to him with a smile then. “We can, actually,” she says.

Steve doesn’t believe that. He frowns, confused. “Did you get a raise or something?” he asks.

She smiles on. “No,” she says brightly. “We’re just lucky.”

“That’s not…” Steve starts. “What?”

“Your dad,” Ma says then. “He finally paid off all his child support.”

Steve’s jaw drops. “What?” he repeats in a gasp.

“I called his mom,” Ma admits with a grin. “She got through to him, I don’t care how, but she did.”

Steve knows perfectly well that his father hadn’t paid a penny of child support in at least sixteen years. Steve gawks.

“So, you’re going to prom,” Ma says. “And you’re going to have a good time.”

“I still don’t want to go,” Steve adds quickly.

“Trust me,” Ma says, throwing her arm around him and giving him a knowing smile. “You’ll be glad I forced you.”

Steve quits fighting her on it, resigned to the fact that he’ll spend another evening being a wallflower. Maybe he’ll be able to sneak out, make an Irish exit. She takes him suit shopping and though he drags his feet through all of it, he leaves with a tux that his ma swears makes him look _dapper._ He grits his teeth, but privately, he has to admit it looks good on him.

Not that he cares. He doesn’t want to go to prom and he’s not going to have any fun.

“You know what else we should do?” Ma says as they leave the shop. “Get that ring resized.”

Steve reaches up, touching the chain around his neck. Bucky’s promise ring got too small almost a year ago, after Steve hit a growth spurt that gave him knobbly knuckles and awkwardly long legs.

He hasn’t told Bucky. But if his mother could afford it…

“Yeah,” Steve says, a small smile growing. “Can we?”

“Let’s go, kiddo,” Ma says.

A week later, Steve is wearing Bucky’s promise ring on his hand again.

_“You sound happy,”_ Bucky says over the phone.

Steve shrugs, looking at his ring. “I’m always happy when I’m talking to you.”

_“Aw, shucks,”_ Bucky laughs. _“You got me blushin’, sweetheart.”_

Maybe going to prom won’t be so bad.

“Pictures!” Ma says happily the night of. “Smile!”

Steve does his best impression of the Joker. Ma gives him a look.

“C’mon,” she says. “Smile?”

“I am smiling,” Steve tells her through his teeth.

The door buzzes then. Steve drops the Joker impression, looking away from his ma with a frown.

His ma, though, says, “Ah, he’s here,” and puts down the camera.

“What?” Steve says, his heart skipping a beat. “Who’s here?”

Ma moves to the door and Steve follows, innately curious. He has no idea who’s at the door. Maybe his father? It does seem like his father had been attempting to make up for being a shitbag the past eighteen years.

Ma opens the door. Steve’s jaw drops and his hands fly to cover his mouth.

Bucky grins at him. “Hey, doll,” he says.

“Bucky?” Steve hisses.

Steve’s mother looks smug as shit. Bucky, wearing a tux and with his hair slicked back and a rose pinned to his lapel, steps inside and holds up a boutonniere box.

“You look good,” Bucky says calmly. “You should wear blue more often.”

“You little shit,” Steve says thickly, his nose stinging and his eyes starting to prickle. “C’mere.”

Steve tugs Bucky into a tight hug and almost clings to him. Bucky almost lifts Steve off his feet in hugging him back.

“I’ve missed you,” Bucky murmurs.

“I missed you,” Steve admits.

It’s not quite three years; June is only a week old, after all. But it’s the first time that Steve’s seen Bucky in person since the Barneses left New York.

“This is the best surprise ever,” Steve mumbles.

“You know I’d do anything for my best guy,” Bucky says softly.

“Told you you’d be glad I forced you,” Steve’s ma pipes up.

Steve waves a hand at her, still clutching to Bucky. He doesn’t want to let go, but then Bucky pulls back. Steve starts to release him, until Bucky cups his cheek with a hand and leans in again. Steve shuts his eyes just in time.

The kiss is soft and sweet. It’s the best kiss Steve’s ever gotten.

“Pictures!” Ma says again. “C’mon, let’s get this show on the road.”

Ma takes so many pictures. Of Bucky pinning the boutonniere to Steve’s jacket, of them hugging, grinning, sticking their tongues out, Bucky actually lifting Steve off the ground –

“When did you get so buff?” Steve demands, struggling to be let down.

“I joined the Army,” Bucky admits.

Steve glances at him. Bucky shrugs.

“Ain’t so bad,” he says. “I might get stationed in New York.”

Steve smiles, though there’s a small seed of unease now planted in his gut. “That would be nice,” he says.

“Alright, alright, time to go,” Ma says at last. “Have fun, don’t do drugs, don’t drink and drive, use protection!”

“Ma!” Steve splutters.

“Shh!” Bucky hisses in his ear. “I’ll have him back by tomorrow, Mrs. Rogers.”

Bucky!” Steve gasps.

Ma levels a finger on them. “Two in the morning,” she says. “And not a second later.”

Bucky snaps off a salute. Steve is beet red and shoves Bucky out the door.

“C’mon,” Bucky says, throwing his arm over Steve’s shoulders. “We got a whole night to ourselves.”

Steve leans into Bucky’s side, blushing again.

Bucky’s Alpha scent has grown stronger in the past three years, Steve notes in the car. It’s amazing. Steve wants to roll in it.

“Did you tell anybody else you’d be coming back?” he asks Bucky as they make their way into the school.

“Nah,” Bucky says. “Nobody here I cared about but you.”

Steve feels smug. Pleased, delighted, elated, whatever. He curls his arm through Bucky’s as they follow the line into the gym.

“I’m really glad you came,” Steve says softly.

Bucky shoots him a grin. “Anything for my best guy.”

Steve hasn’t made any new friends since Bucky left, but he’s made plenty of enemies. One particular school bully had lorded over Steve with the fact that nobody wanted to take him to prom. Going in, Steve makes eye contact with Claudia Tyneman and grins as Bucky leans on his shoulder.

“I took dance lessons for you,” Bucky says when Steve heads for the corner of the gym. “We’re dancin’.”

“I have three left feet,” Steve tells him.

“You can stand on my toes,” Bucky answers with a wink.

Steve is definitely glad his ma pulled this off. The night is ending and Bucky has pulled Steve into yet another slow dance.

“Can I ask you something?” Bucky says softly.

“What?” Steve answers.

Bucky pulls back from him, taking his hands. Steve is confused, but then Bucky is stepping back and kneeling. Steve sucks in a breath and around them, his classmates stop dancing.

Bucky goes on one knee, looking up at Steve with an honest smile. He reaches into the pocket of his jacket and takes out a small, velvet box. Steve's eyes widen.

“I made you a promise three years ago,” Bucky starts.

Amazingly, the music quiets. Steve can’t breathe.

Bucky holds up the box, still holding up Steve’s hands, and he opens it. Inside, a silver ring and a _fucking diamond_ sparkles. Steve cannot fucking breathe.

“So,” Bucky says, a wide grin on his face, “you still wanna come through on that promise?”

Steve hears whispers of _Oh my God!_ and gasps. He can’t believe it, but he nods, pressing his free hand to his mouth.

“Will you marry me?” Bucky asks softly.

“Yeah,” Steve whispers hoarsely. “Yes. Fuck, yes.”

Bucky’s hands shake as he plucks the engagement ring from its box. Steve pushes out his left hand and Bucky slides the ring onto his finger. Around them, someone whoops. Then the gym bursts into applause as Bucky stands up and pulls Steve back into his chest. Steve hides his face in Bucky’s collar as Bucky lifts him off his feet again and swings him around. Bucky touches his cheek and Steve leans back so Bucky can kiss him. The gym is still filled with the sound of clapping and cheering; nobody cares anymore that Steve’s a social outcast, nobody cares anymore that Steve has broken more noses than the football team has. Even Claudia Tyneman claps, and she's hated Steve's guts for five years. It’s amazing.

“I love you,” Steve hiccups.

“I love you,” Bucky answers.

Steve believes it.

*

It’s cliche. High school romances are never long-lasting. But when Steve graduates, Bucky’s still there and Steve has a fulfilled promise, not just a feeble one.

“So, when’s the wedding?” Ma asks.

“After he gets back from deployment,” Steve says. “He’s trying to fix it with the Army that when he finishes this tour, they’ll station him in New York. His captain’s pretty considerate, said Bucky’s got good chances.”

“Y’know,” Ma says, “I did doubt it when Bucky first gave you that promise ring.”

Steve nods. He knows.

“But I’ve never been happier to be wrong,” Ma adds. “You two will last a long time, darling.”

Steve ducks his head, grinning. He looks at his ring and holds it close.

Bucky leaves for Iraq in the summer. Steve sees him off and though seeing him leave again hurts, it’s not so bad this time around. He’s sure that Bucky will come back now. He believes it.

He gets a job at a diner to keep up his time and start saving for the future. Like, the future future. He goes to his bank and gets help setting up savings accounts and shit. His ma helps him create a budget and set up goals. He takes classes at community college in the meantime, because he’s not exactly sure what he wants to do with his life.

He likes working at the diner; his boss is an older Alpha woman named Peggy Carter, an English woman who served in intelligence during World War 2. He mentions one time that his fiancé – Steve loves saying fiancé and loves the fact that he gets to call Bucky that even more – is in the Army and Mrs. Peggy immediately makes sure he gets plenty of shifts.

Bucky can’t fly home for Christmas, but he does for Easter. Steve’s still living with his mother, but Bucky takes him away for the weekend so they can have some privacy. They make good on all the privacy. A lot.

Again, it hurts to see Bucky go. But Steve knows that he’s coming back home and it’s not as hard because of that.

Skype makes the distance even easier. It’s a new development, since the Army had been stingy with giving out personal electronics up ‘til then. They get to video chat for the first time just a few weeks after Easter.

“You’re a sight for sore eyes,” Bucky sighs.

“I’ve got the flu,” Steve retorts, “everything about me is sore.”

“That's what you get for not gettin' a flu shot,” Bucky wisecracks

"Oh, fuck you," Steve laughs, but it breaks halfway through into coughing.

Bucky reaches out to touch the screen. “I miss you.”

Steve touches the screen back. “I miss you, too.”

Bucky pulls his hand back just enough to blow Steve a kiss. Steve catches it with his left hand and holds it against his chest.

“I put in a request to come home for Christmas,” Bucky says. “Might get to stay through New Year’s.”

“I’ve never had a New Year’s kiss,” Steve replies.

Bucky cracks a grin. “Sure would hope not,” he jokes, “ain’t nobody been kissin’ you but me.”

Steve rolls his eyes. “Then it’s all your fault,” he answers. “You’d better get New Year’s off so you can kiss me.”

“You have my word,” Bucky says, then blows another kiss. Steve catches it and holds it with his right hand.

In a week, his flu is gone. Steve resolves to get a vaccination next season.

*

Bucky doesn’t get the leave for Christmas, but he gets a week for New Year’s. Bucky’s family drives up from Fort Bragg and they all cram into the Rogers’ apartment, all six of them. Steve’s ma takes the couch and the Barneses sleep in her room, though they protest; Ma insists.

“You three need more room,” she says.

“Three?” Steve catches, startled.

“Well, Bucky is your fiancé,” Ma says, rolling her eyes.

“He’d just sneak in anyway,” Mrs. Barnes agrees sagely.

Steve glances at Bucky, eyes wide. Bucky laughs, nervous and excited.

“This is not fair,” Rebecca declares.

“Suck it up, buttercup,” Mrs. Barnes tells her.

New Year’s Eve has them all gathered in the living room with champagne or sparkling apple cider.

“I’m almost twenty!” Steve complains

“You’re letting Bucky drink!” Rebecca protests, too.

“Yeah, Bucky gets to drink!” Steve throws in his chips.

"Bucky's close enough to 21," Mr. Barnes declares. "Besides, he's in the Army."

Rebecca pouts, but Steve scowls.

“I’m sensing that it would be beneficial to my relationship to decline the champagne,” Bucky says then. “Thanks, though, Pa.”

“No alcohol!” Steve’s ma insists anyway.

But no alcohol doesn’t really ruin his evening. They all watch the ball drop and at midnight, Bucky follows through with his promise to give Steve his first New Year’s kiss. Sparkling apple cider’s not a bad taste, even if champagne has more bubbles.

“Alright, now it’s time for bed,” Ma says.

“Aw, I wanna watch the rest’a the show,” Rebecca whines.

“Nope, adults want to sleep,” Mrs. Barnes says. “Off you go.”

Steve exchanges a glance with Bucky. Bucky grins and leans into him a little. Rebecca rolls her eyes.

“Ma, Pa, they’re gonna have sex,” she complains.

“Becca!” Steve and Bucky gasp at the same time.

“They’re engaged,” Mrs. Barnes says, “so what?”

Steve flushes. Rebecca pouts again.

“Go,” Ma hisses in Steve’s direction.

Steve takes the instruction and pulls Bucky into his room. Almost as soon as the door is shut, Bucky is pulling Steve into a sharp and hungry kiss. Steve walks backward, pulling Bucky along with him, until his knees hit the bed. He’s glad he upgraded from a twin earlier this year – Last year, actually.

Bucky starts tugging on Steve’s belt.

“Wai–wait,” Steve says, pulling back from Bucky’s lips.

“Wha’?” Bucky says, grabbing Steve’s waist instead. “What?”

Steve bites his lip shyly. He grabs Bucky’s shoulders and steers him around, then pushes him down onto the bed. Bucky sits, looking up at Steve now, and Steve puts a knee on the bed next to his hip.

“I got another Christmas gift for you,” he says softly.

Bucky blinks. “What?”

Steve straddles Bucky’s lap. “You gotta unwrap it first,” he answers, coy.

Bucky’s eyebrows shoot up and he looks down. Steve reaches for the hem of his own shirt, then lifts it off slowly. By the time he gets it over his head, Bucky is wide-eyed.

“Baby,” Bucky whispers. “You’re gonna kill me.”

Steve cups Bucky’s jaw and presses a soft kiss to his cheek, then moves to the side and starts kissing his neck. Bucky’s hands span his waist and Steve grinds down into Bucky’s hips slowly.

“Saved up my tips,” Steve murmurs, “went to Victoria’s Secret.”

“Yeah?” Bucky questions. “You got me somethin’ lacey, babydoll?”

“Guess you’ll have to see,” Steve says, lifting off Bucky’s lap again.

Steve holds Bucky’s gaze as he slowly takes off his belt. Slowly unzips his jeans. Bucky exhales softly as Steve pushes his jeans down, revealing bright red lace. Bucky reaches forward and Steve slaps his hand.

“Patience, Alpha,” he says.

Bucky exhales a soft blasphemy.

Steve smirks. He steps out of his jeans, then hooks his thumbs into the waistband of his panties. He teases it for a second, watching Bucky’s pupils just get bigger, then he turns around.

Bucky gasps and Steve grins properly. The panties hang low on his hips, but in the back, there’s a heart cut out over his ass.

“Baby,” Bucky groans softly. “Baby, lookit’chu.”

Steve steps backwards, closer to Bucky. “You can touch, Alpha,” he says, grinning sweetly even though Bucky can't see.

Bucky’s hands cup his hips, squeezing briefly, then move around and Steve feels one of his thumbs dipping into the heart cut-out. Steve widens his stance.

“Guess what else I gotcha?” he asks, then bends at the waist.

Bucky swears again. Steve grins, looking between his knees at Bucky’s reverent expression. Both of Bucky’s thumbs pull at the heart cut-out in Steve’s panties and Steve intentionally clenches down a little on the plug in his hole.

“Got it just for you,” Steve says. “So you can just slide in.”

“Yeah?” Bucky asks, a grin forming and a hand going to his belt. “Can I just slide home, babydoll?”

“Uh-huh,” Steve says quickly.

Bucky stands up, pushing on Steve’s hips. Steve lifts and moves where Bucky wants him, bending over the bed instead.

“Christ, you’re so fuckin’ pretty,” Bucky sighs, his belt jangling.

“All for you, Alpha,” Steve purrs.

“Gonna fuckin’ kill me,” Bucky growls, twisting out Steve’s plug.

Bucky doesn’t even get his pants all the way down his hips. It feels perfectly naughty, as he fucks Steve still dressed and Steve wearing just a pair of backless panties. It’s definitely the best sex Steve’s ever had.

But Bucky’s leave is over far too soon and they have to say goodbye. At the airport, Steve hugs Bucky for nearly five minutes.

“I miss you already,” he mumbles into Bucky’s jacket.

“Me, too,” Bucky admits.

But Steve has to let him go. Bucky kisses Steve’s engagement ring before he turns to go. Steve waves, Bucky waves back. Steve’s ma steps up to him and slings an arm around his shoulders.

“C’mon, darling,” she says gently. “Let’s go get ice cream.”

Ma stops at the grocery store. Steve choses to stay in the car, even though it’s freezing. He leans his seat back and takes the time to cry a little. His mother returns sooner than he expects and he sits up quickly, wiping at his eyes.

“Oh,” Ma whispers, “honey…”

She pulls him into a hug and Steve doesn’t resist. Ma kisses the top of his head.

“You’ll pull through,” she promises. “You’ll get past this.”

Steve nods into her shoulder. Ma pulls back, then reaches into the back and digs around in the grocery bags. She pulls out a pack of beers.

“I got these, too,” she says.

“Oh, I can have alcohol now, huh?” Steve tries to joke, but it falls flat with the way his nose is still running and he has to sniff hard.

“Only a little bit,” Ma says.

Steve laughs. Ma kisses his forehead.

“C’mon,” she says. “Let’s go home.”

In the end, Steve doesn't even like beer.

*

January brings another bout of the flu. This one is worse than Steve’s ever had; he’s throwing up every morning, he’s constantly dizzy, he has headaches around the clock.

“‘M miserable,” he whines to Bucky over Skype.

“I’m miserable, too, doll,” Bucky promises. “Every second without you is misery.”

Steve laughs, shaking his head (gently, because his head still hurts). “That’s so cliche,” he accuses.

“But it’s true,” Bucky says.

Steve rolls his eyes.

As February comes along, Steve is still throwing up. On Valentine’s Day, he wakes up to find a giant bunch of roses in the kitchen addressed to him; his ma must’ve taken the delivery. Steve rolls his eyes but he loves them.

“Didja get my flowers?” Bucky asks when they Skype that morning.

“Couldn’t miss ‘em,” Steve says, turning the laptop to show the flower on the coffee table. “How many did you send, three dozen?”

“Somethin’ like that,” Bucky says, sounding proud of himself. “Anything for my best guy.”

“You’re a cliche,” Steve complains half-heartedly.

“But you love me,” Bucky counters with a grin.

Steve smiles and nods.

The next morning, he gets one whiff of his ma cooking breakfast and runs for the bathroom. Ma chases after him.

“Yannow, honey, this is gettin’ serious,” Ma says as she blots his brow with a damp cloth. “Flu don’t last weeks like this.”

Steve takes the cloth to wipe his face himself, but stops halfway through. Flu doesn’t last for weeks like this. His eyes widen.

“Oh, no,” he whispers.

“What?” Ma says. Then she gasps. “No.”

“I can’t –” Steve splutters. “I didn’t miss a pill!”

Ma’s face goes stony. “You know those pills aren't as reliable for boys. Did you use protection?”

Steve swallows, thinking of New Year’s. Slowly, he shakes his head.

Ma reaches up and touches his shoulder. Steve takes a trembling breath in.

Of all the unbelievable things happen to him, Steve believes this the least. But he goes to the corner store, buys five kinds of pregnancy tests, and takes all of them. One comes up uncertain. Steve doesn't think that outweighs the four that are positive.

He Skypes with Bucky every day. This morning, he’s shaking.

“You okay?” Bucky asks with a concerned frown. “That stomach bug still botherin’ you?”

“Kinda,” Steve says numbly. “Um. Buck?”

Bucky frowns in the grainy video feed. “What? What’s wrong?”

Steve drops his gaze, then touches his stomach with both hands. He’s scared out of his fucking wits.

“This stomach bug’s gonna be around for a while,” he starts quietly.

“Sweetheart?” Bucky murmurs.

Steve opens his mouth. The words are right behind his teeth, he just has to spit them out. He just has to spit them out.

“You’re scarin’ me,” Bucky says then, looking like he really is worried. “Is it – is it _bad?_ Like – like cancer –?”

“Pregnant,” Steve blurts.

Bucky’s face goes blank. He sits back, then just blinks.

“I’m pregnant,” Steve says, exhaling the words.

Bucky blinks. His face is washed out and a little pixelated in the video feed. Skype bloops, telling Steve that his connection is poor. Steve swallows, then leans to the side and hits the Wi-Fi router once or twice. He glances back and the warning goes away. He sits up again, his hands curling into fists in front of his stomach. He digs his nails into his palms. Buck blinks.

“Buck?” Steve prompts weakly.

Bucky lifts a hand. He touches it to his laptop screen thousands of miles away in Iraq. Steve leans forward and does the same in New York. It’s not the same and both of them know it.

“That’s great,” Bucky says hoarsely. “If you think it’s great. I think it’s great if you think it’s great. I love you.”

“I know it’s –” Steve starts, unsure of himself, “– it’s too soon –”

“No, no,” Bucky says. He breaks into a smile. “It’s perfect timing. My deployment’s up in October, I’ll find a way to come back early, get a stateside posting this time.”

Steve smiles, too. He’s so relieved. “You’re not – You’re okay with this?”

“Yeah!” Bucky promises. “If you’re okay with this,” he adds quickly, soberly. “If you’re not, I’m behind you fully. It’s your choice.”

Steve shrugs, glancing down. “I kinda want this bug to stick around,” he says. “I think I’m kinda attached to the guy who gave it to me.”

Bucky grins wider. “I love you so damn much,” he whispers.

“I love you, too,” Steve says.

*

Steve is nineteen, but he’ll be twenty before the baby’s born. He starts to show around March, his scent is dulled and people say he glows. He doesn’t really believe it, because being pregnant with your Alpha in Iraq’s no picnic. Steve spends a lot of time with his ma from then on out.

He doesn’t take any classes at community college over the summer; instead, he puts the money he’d been saving for tuition and books into a baby fund. In a way, he's a little relieved to stop. He still doesn't know what he'd even want to do in college and he likes working at the diner. In April, Mrs. Peggy gives him a raise.

“Call it a baby shower gift,” she says.

“I don’t know how to thank you,” Steve tells her, flustered and overjoyed.

Mrs. Peggy pats his shoulder. “You deserve it, darling,” she says in her cracked, faded English accent and smoker’s voice. “It isn’t your average Omega who can soldier through like this on their own.”

“I’ve got my ma,” Steve says.

Mrs. Peggy leans in. “Isn’t the same, though, is it?”

Steve looks down and shakes his head. Mrs. Peggy pats his cheek as she leaves.

Steve has an ultrasound the next week and pays for extra print-outs and an extra DVD. He takes them straight to the post office and mails them to Iraq.

“Army?” the postal worker asks.

“Yep,” Steve says.

“Father?” the postal worker adds, smiling towards Steve’s bump.

Steve nods. The postal worker gives him a military discount.

“You’re glowing,” Bucky says the next day.

“Aw, shucks,” Steve answers, rolling his eyes. “You’re only the hundredth person to tell me that.”

“Yeah, but it should mean more comin’ from me!” Bucky swears.

“It does,” Steve admits.

He touches the screen. Bucky does, too. Only a video feed and thousands of miles between them.

“I mailed you somethin’ today,” Steve says softly.

“What?” Bucky asks.

“You’ll see,” Steve tells him, smiling.

It takes about a month for it to get to Iraq. Steve knows the second he answers Bucky on Skype that he’s got them.

“A boy!” Bucky shouts. “We’re having a boy!”

Steve grins. “James Junior.”

“You cannot name our baby James Junior,” Bucky says, suddenly stern.

“Guess you’d better be here when the baby’s born to stop me, then,” Steve says with a cheeky grin.

“My deployment ends October 11th,” Bucky admits.

Steve deflates. He’s due on the 8th of October.

“You couldn’t get early leave?” he asks.

Bucky shakes his head. “I’m still tryin’,” he says. “I’ll be there, I promise, baby.”

*

By the end of June, Steve is always cranky and cries at the drop of a hat. And his feet hurt constantly.

“Your maternity leave starts at the end of August,” Mrs. Peggy tells him one day.

“Thank _God,_ ” Steve sighs. “If I have to fake-laugh at one more person telling me I’m too skinny to be pregnant, I’m gonna snap. Someone’s neck,” he adds.

Mrs. Peggy pats his shoulder. “You’ll pull through, soldier,” she says.

Steve takes a deep breath and nods. He can do this. Near the end of his shift, though, he snaps just a little bit. One of his regular pain-in-the-ass customers, Brock Rumlow, winks at him and says, “I’d still tap that even though you’re knocked up.”

Steve tries to think of what Jesus would do, but fails when Rumlow reaches out and fondles his bump.

“Might even be better,” he remarks, "wouldn't need to use a condom, huh?"

The words are barely even out of his disgusting mouth before Steve punches him in the face. Rumlow shouts, reeling back, and Steve calmly wipes his bloody knuckles on his apron.

“Lifelong ban,” Steve tells him happily, since that’s one of his privileges as assistant manager. “I see your face around here again, I’ll call the cops.”

“I’ll call the cops on you, you crazy bitch!” Rumlow yells.

“Yeah, whatever,” Steve says, unfazed. “Hey, Clint, can you show this guy out?”

Clint, another waiter, walks up and cracks his knuckles. “Gladly.”

Steve recounts the story to Bucky the next day with pride.

“That’s my fella,” Bucky says with a grin.

*

Steve’s approaching twentieth birthday is overshadowed by the way his nesting hormones have taken a nosedive. If he was miserable before, he's downright hysterical at times now. The routine of work is the only thing keeping him sane.

“Are you sure you want to work on your birthday?” Mrs. Peggy asks worriedly. “I’ll let you take the day off.”

“No, it’s okay,” Steve tells her. “My ma’s taking me someplace nice on the weekend. That’s enough for me.”

“If you’re sure,” Mrs. Peggy says.

“I’m sure.”

The day of, Steve clocks in with little expectations for the day. The fact that he’s another year older or even that he’s hit 20 doesn’t mean much to him when he has James Junior dancing on his bladder constantly.

“Oh, Steve,” Mrs. Peggy says just as he passes, “I’ve updated the schedule, your shift ends at two.”

“Wait, was I supposed to be here earlier?” Steve asks, suddenly worried; it’s only eleven.

“No, no, I just decided to let you go early,” Mrs. Peggy answers. She pats his cheek and smiles. “Enjoy your shift.”

Steve turns to watch her go, confused. He steps into the kitchen.

“Hey, Sam?” he calls.

“Yeah,” Sam answers, calmly flipping pancakes.

“Mrs. Peggy say anything about the schedule?”

Sam shrugs, glancing over his shoulder. “You’re off early,” he says. “I just thought that was ‘cause it’s your birthday.”

Steve narrows his eyes, looking back towards the exit from the kitchen. “I smell something fishy,” he mutters.

“That’d be the kippers,” Sam quips.

Mrs. Peggy looks smug whenever Steve catches sight of her. Steve starts to suspect that she’s letting him go early today for some nefarious plot that she and his mother have cooked up. Steve told her not to try anything funny for his birthday; clearly, Ma didn’t listen.

Steve tries to ignore Mrs. Peggy’s smugness and focus on his work. He stays behind the counter these days, keeping up with order tickets and the register and making sure everything’s in order for the waiters. Part of this is so he can sit down more, but another part is to give him a wider bubble of personal space; ever since the Brock Rumlow incident, Steve has wanted his baby bump out of reach of the customers.

His shift is perfectly normal. He keeps up with the coffee machines, helps Sam with order tickets, does checks and chats with the customers on the counter.

Two o’clock nears. Steve greets a regular, an old WW2 vet named Stan, and gets him a coffee mug.

“When’re you due again?” Stan asks.

“October 8th,” Steve says. “But,” he adds, leaning in, “between you ‘n’ me, my fella gets home from Iraq October 11th, so I’m hopin’ Junior will decide to be late.”

Stan laughs. Steve smiles and fills Stan’s coffee with the last of the decaf, then goes to get a fresh pot brewing as the bell over the front door rings.

“Welcome to Angie’s!” Steve calls, along with Peter, Wanda, and Pietro, even Sam. Mrs. Peggy simply waves from a corner booth.

“Sit wherever you like,” Steve hears Natasha saying.

“Thanks,” the newcomer says.

The coffee pot slips from Steve’s fingers. Luckily, it’s empty and Clint, who had only just stepped behind the counter, catches it before it can hit the ground and smash.

“Careful there. It’s me that’s s’posed to have butterfingers,” Clint teases.

Steve ignores him. He can hear a stool at the counter scraping at the floor as the newcomer pulls it out. Steve is frozen where he stands, because he knows, he’ll turn around, and the newcomer won’t be Bucky, no matter how much his voice sounds like him.

“Hey,” Clint says, ducking a little to look Steve in the eye, “you okay there, buddy?”

“Yeah,” the newcomer says, “you alright, sweetheart?”

He sounds smug. Steve sucks in a breath and claps his hands over his mouth; he _cannot_ believe –

"Jeez, you gotta be shocked if you ain't gonna take that guy's head off for callin' you that," Clint remarks.

"I bet he don't mind," the newcomer says.

"I seen 'im do it before," Clint answers. "Steve, your water break or somethin'? What's up?"

“Yeah, ya look like ya heard a ghost,” the newcomer adds. “Or maybe your fiancé?”

Steve turns around finally, hands still over his mouth. Bucky wears a cocky grin and his fatigues, a matching set of dog tags to the ones hanging around Steve’s neck glistening in the open collar of his jacket.

“Hi, dollface,” Bucky chuckles.

Steve lowers his hands slowly. “You little shit,” he exhales.

“And you’re still marryin’ me,” Bucky answers. “You gonna come kiss me or what?”

Stan starts clapping. Other people do, too. Clint cheers, even. Steve makes his way around the counter, already lifting his arms, and Bucky pushes off his stool to pull him in. Steve buries his face in Bucky’s jacket and, predictably, starts crying. Bucky nuzzles the side of his head.

“You little shit!” Steve blubbers into Bucky’s jacket. “I had no idea!”

“I wanted to surprise you,” Bucky laughs softly. “Like at prom.”

“Ya succeeded,” Steve sniffles.

He pulls back and Bucky moves a hand to cup his cheek. Steve lifts onto his toes and Bucky bends down and they kiss, for the first time in seven months.

Clint, and perhaps others, wolf-whistles. The rest of the diner patrons are still cheering and applauding; just like back at prom. Steve breaks the kiss and drops back onto his heels, reaching up to brush at the tears on his cheeks. Bucky cups his waist still and presses another kiss to the side of his head and Steve laughs, almost hysterical for real, as he leans into Bucky again. He can’t believe this.

“Go home!” Mrs. Peggy calls from the corner. “I don’t want to see you again until next week!”

“C’mon,” Bucky murmurs into Steve’s hair.

Steve spots Natasha holding up her phone, smiling at it. “Are you taking a video?” he calls.

“Yep!” she answers, pleased.

“You knew!” Steve gasps. He looks around, pointing accusingly at Clint, at Sam, the twins and Peter, who are all grinning. “You's all knew!”

“Peggy told us,” Clint says as Bucky starts laughing again.

“You guys!” Steve shouts, half-laughing and half-crying again.

He doesn’t have anything else he can say. He turns and clings to Bucky again, pressing his face into Bucky’s chest. He can’t help it. He hasn’t seen Bucky in seven months and he’s pregnant, dammit. He’s biologically compelled to be clingy.

Which reminds him…

“How long are you here for?” Steve asks, muffled by Bucky’s jacket. He doesn’t know if he’ll be even able to let Bucky go again, not now.

“Well,” Bucky says, blowing out his breath and looking up with a light grimace and Steve feels his heart falling. “For now,” Bucky sighs, “the next five years.”

Steve jerks back, his mouth hanging open. Bucky grins smugly.

“I’m stationed at Fort Hamilton,” he says. “Until October of 2019.”

Fort Hamilton is only twenty minutes away without traffic. Steve has driven past it a thousand times on his way to Staten Island.

Steve is speechless.

“So you’re really stuck with me,” Bucky continues. “Start thinkin’ what kinda wallpaper you want in our new place, sweetheart.”

“You –” Steve splutters. “Oh, you –!”

He throws his arms around Bucky’s neck again. Bucky laughs and lifts Steve off his feet, swinging him around. When he puts him down, Steve grabs Bucky’s face and kisses him again.

“Get a room!” Sam shouts from the kitchen.

Steve’s ma was also in on it, apparently, because she isn’t even remotely fazed when Steve comes home early with Bucky in tow. She’s so in on it, Bucky’s duffle bag is already in Steve’s bedroom.

“And I’m crying again,” Steve sniffs.

“Aw,” Bucky coos, scooping him up in a hug.

It's pretty much all they do the rest of the day. Steve is, after all, biologically driven to snuggle his Alpha. The two of them spend July 4th cocooned in Steve’s nest on the floor of the living room, and before long, Bucky’s scent has soaked into every soft surface of the apartment. Except for Steve’s mother’s room, obviously.

“I’ve applied for on-base housing,” Bucky tells him. “We’re likely to get it, since we got a baby on the way.”

Steve cuddles into Bucky’s side again, grinning and hugging his belly. Bucky hooks his arm under his belly as well, and presses a kiss to Steve’s hair.

“Unless you wanna keep livin’ with your ma,” Bucky adds.

“No,” Steve sniggers. “I wanna have our own place.”

“Awesome,” Bucky says, rubbing his face into Steve’s hair. “‘Cause I wanna make a home with you.”

“Sap,” Steve grumbles.

“Anythin’ for my best guy,” Bucky chuckles.

*

Before Bucky surprised Steve in the diner, Steve had hoped that Junior would be at the very least, a few days late. It’s a good thing that Bucky did manage to return stateside in July, because Junior decides he’s ready to come out a few days early. It's a relief, until he gets stage fright at the last minute. Steve's labor goes on for _hours._

“You’re doing wonderfully,” Steve’s OB tells him.

Steve doesn’t feel very wonderful.

“If you try to put your dick in me ever again!” he pants to Bucky. “I will cut it off and clobber you with it!”

“Jesus, sweetheart,” Bucky mutters.

“He doesn’t mean it,” Ma pipes up.

“I fucking mean it!” Steve screams.

He doesn’t mean it. After nearly 48 hours of labor, Junior is finally born. Steve is sore and exhausted, but it’s all forgotten as his baby is laid in his arms.

“Hi!” Steve whispers. “Hi, baby!”

“Aww,” Bucky coos. “I’m gonna cry!”

“He looks like you,” Steve says.

Bucky sniffs hard. “‘M crying,” he mumbles, folding himself as best he can into Steve’s space. He curls his arms around Steve, one behind his shoulders, the other over his stomach. Bucky reaches up and brushes his knuckles over their baby’s cheek.

“I wanna name ‘im after you,” Steve says.

“Yannow,” Bucky murmurs, “I might just be too emotional to argue with you, honey.”

“Ha,” Steve laughs tearfully.

Junior is taken to the nursery to be cleaned up and have his vitals taken and Bucky follows. Steve gets to have his anus examined by his OB for tears, then a nurse helps him shower before the birthing chair is swapped for a real bed. He lies down and has a moment of rest before Bucky returns with their baby.

Steve makes grabby hands. Bucky laughs and gently transfers Junior into his arms. Steve settles their baby against his chest, then pulls down the front of his gown and helps the baby latch onto his breast. Junior drinks hungrily.

“We’re not actually callin’ him Junior, though, right?” Bucky asks.

Steve laughs. “No,” he says. “Jamie?”

“Jamie works,” Bucky agrees.

Steve grins, looking down at Jamie. “Hi, Jamie,” he coos.

Bucky folds himself onto the bed next to Steve, grinning happily. “Hi, Jamie,” he says. “I’m your pop.”

“I’m your dad,” Steve says.

“We’re your parents,” Bucky adds.

Steve snorts. Bucky presses in and sets a hand on Jamie’s back, leaning on Steve’s shoulder. Jamie blinks and looks between Steve and Bucky, then closes his eyes again and returns to nursing.

“I’m so happy,” Steve whispers.

“Me, too,” Bucky says.

“Ten outta ten,” Steve adds, “would do again.”

Bucky laughs and plants a kiss on Steve’s shoulder. “Let’s wait a lil’ while before I knock you up again, sweetheart.”

Steve laughs and tips his head against Bucky’s, smiling down at Jamie. He hums softly, starting a lullaby he’s been singing to Jamie for the past few months.

In a day, they go home. Their new apartment on Fort Hamilton isn’t quite baby-ready yet, so they’re still at his mother’s place.

“So,” Steve’s ma says, “when’s the wedding?”

“April,” Steve decides on the spot; that spot being his nest on the floor of the living room. “Maybe May.”

Bucky, sprawled on the sofa with a napping Jamie on his chest, snores on. Ma looks at him and slowly exhales.

“And you’re moving out soon?” she asks, sounding desperate.

Steve chuckles. “Next week,” he promises. “We’re just waiting on a few more things.”

Bucky snores again.

“I don’t know how you put up with that,” Ma admits.

Steve, smitten, leans back and reaches up to pet through Bucky’s hair. “I like it,” he declares.

“Weirdest fuckin’ child I ever met,” Ma sighs.

Steve chuckles again. Bucky continues to snore. Like Steve, Jamie is unperturbed. Apple didn’t fall far from the tree.

Steve wouldn’t give the world to do anything differently. He doesn’t care that they’re young, that neither of them have a college education, that they aren’t married yet, nothing could make him want his son to have come at a different time.

He wouldn’t even change the way Bucky snores.

**Author's Note:**

> _this has been "what ifs" with moony. if you enjoyed this Skim Angst/Guilt-free Fluff, leave me a comment, i love comments. if you're not sure why it's a big deal that i did something with no angst, uhh... buddy... the rest of this series... Whole Angst. lots of angst. i got angst comin' outta my ears. if you wanna check that angst out, edges blurred updates on sundays and Like Rahab updates on wednesdays. i also got slow-burn comin' outta my ears if you wanna check out These Days, my friends-with-benefits/accidental pregnancy/mutual pining college au, it gets updated mondays and fridays. i got fics comin' outta my ears in general. there is more to the SS;TDW series, check it out if you so please._
> 
> _in other news, tumblr's taken a page out of thanos's book and is banning all adult content (based off their kinda loose definitions). if you're worried about losing track of all your Cap fandom friends,[notlucy created a google spreadsheet to help everyone figure out where they're going](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/12FgAdh8SJ7grvvwOa3aLFN7nlIRV2BE7QB7gmCS4hBo/edit?usp=sharing). until my blogs get deleted for posting pictures of limp french fries, i'll be on tumblr as [moonythejedi394](http://moonythejedi394.tumblr.com/) or on as [capt-in-his-ass-america](https://capt-in-his-ass-america.tumblr.com/) (a blog dedicated to bottom!steve content i'm taking applications for more mods fyi). i recommend you go reblog all your favorite memes about the adult content purge before the good ones are all taken. also try to find alternatives to tumblr and get your urls before all the good ones get taken. seriously. just remember that i will always be here, holding onto my corner of the internet tooth-and-claw, but if tumblr does die, [i'll be out in the woods behind denny's](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ). mutuals will know which one._
> 
> _follow me on[tumblr](http://moonythejedi394.tumblr.com/) or [twitter](https://twitter.com/moonythejedi394)or [reddit](https://www.reddit.com/user/moonythejedi394) bc tumblr is dying_


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